Percy Jackson and the Flames of Olympus
by Wayhaynalo
Summary: Pure monster battling, suckish romance, cheese eating awesomeness. Remember reviews inspiration. Percy gets dumped when Annabeth goes out with Apollo,please don't get angry about that,it was a good idea. After the Last Olympian, the Lost Hero isn't in it.
1. I Almost Get Killed, Again and Again

Chapter Ι

I Almost Get Killed, Again and Again and Again

Disclaimer: I own nothing involving Percy Jackson or near-death situations

** My first fanfic, so go easy on me, please leave me some good comments.**

J

ust when I thought my luck couldn't get any worse; I almost get sucked into a bottomless pit of eternal torture, again.

Maybe starting at the beginning would be good.

You see, after the Titan war (another story, figure it out), everything was great for all of two months before it all started falling apart. About two months after I turn down godhood for her, my girlfriend dumped me.

I mean, not that I had been totally sure we were going out anyway, but the symbolism was still there. A few minutes after I turned down godhood and gave the gods my terms, she and I went for a walk through destroyed Olympus. You'd think that walking through the destroyed city of the gods wouldn't be romantic, but it was for me.

I was in heaven, almost literally, and about to drop clear through to hell.

We had both met at Olympus for winter break; Annabeth was the architect in charge of rebuilding Olympus. She was going to be there anyway, so I figured we could hang out together while she was in the neighborhood.

We were looking at a ruined statue of Hermes, and Annabeth was looking at it like she was planning how to remake it, probably twice as tall with gold gilding. After a few minutes of that, she started looking restless, no shock, she is ADHD, but she was looking at me nervously. That was new, Annabeth almost never looked nervous.

"What's up?" I asked curiously (is there any other way to ask).

She shuffled her feet, "I was just thinking."

You'd think that'd give me a hint, back off before something bad happens, but of course I had to go and open my big mouth.

"What about?"

She looked up quickly, then back down at her feet, "Us."

Me, being the huge idiot that I am, took this as a good sign; I thought for once we could go on a date that didn't involve deadly missions.

"Percy, we've been going out for while…"

"We have, wish someone had told me that."

"What else would you call it?"

I remained silent, I wasn't totally sure if all the deadly missions counted as dates.

"But I really think we should just be friends."

Ah, the three most deadly words in any relationship, _just be friends_, wish I could say I'd seen that coming, but I didn't. I just stood there in shock for either two minutes, or a year and a half, I couldn't tell. When I came out of my temporary paralysis, I asked the one question I definitely _did not_ want an answer to.

"Why?"

She bit her cheek, "I just…"

"Annabeth?"

We both froze, Apollo, god of the sun and archery, not to mention bad haikus, was walking towards us.

"Did you tell him?"

I looked at him, my emotions moving in slow motion, first I was just confused, then horrified, then angry enough I felt my glare should blast that idiot right out of his shoes. I was too angry to even speak, so I did something that was possibly the worst in a long line of bad ideas.

I punched the god of the sun in the face, then in the gut.

I didn't stick around to see anyone's reaction, I just ran, ran through the city.

I yelled out with my mind, _Blackjack, I need a ride,_ and then kept running past minor gods and goddesses, who looked at me in shock. They were obviously surprised to see the hero of Olympus running away as if a pack of hellhounds were after him.

I could almost hear the voice of Kronos in my mind, mocking me the same way he had years ago, on my first quest. _Hail the conquering hero!_ I should have realized I wouldn't get to enjoy our victory long. The Fates seemed to have a permanent mindset that I couldn't be happy for long.

When I finally reached the edge of Olympus, I jumped, it might be crazy, but Blackjack had never let me die yet. Check off one near death situation.

Blackjack swooped under me, matching my speed so I didn't land too hard on his back. He extended his wings and glided back up to the height of Olympus, which he circled once before heading towards camp.

_What's eatin' ya, boss._

"Annabeth dumped me, for Apollo."

_Ouch, that one's gotta bite, but don't beat yourself up about it. If she thinks you're not good enough for her, she has too many ego issues anyway._

"Thanks, man, just put me down at my mom's place, kay?"

_You got it boss man._

Blackjack landed on the roof of my mom's apartment, keeping in the shadow of a cloud to make it harder for him to be spotted.

I hopped off, "Thanks, Blackjack."

_Don't worry about it, I wasn't doin' nothin' today anyway._

I watched him take off, and then climbed onto the fire escape. Even if I was miserable, seeing the city awake made me feel better. I figured my mom would eventually be home, but until then, I planned to just lie down on my bed and avoid thinking about Annabeth or Apollo.

I was just about to hop in the window when I froze.

Below, on the street, was a hellhound, not Mrs. O'Leary, which was almost too big to fit in between the apartment on either side of the street, it had just turned a corner and saw me. It looked ready to pounce; I slowly reached my hand into my pocket and took out Anaklusmos. I didn't uncap it yet, I knew it would pounce if I did.

It tensed; I grabbed the cap of Anaklusmos.

It pounced in the same second the celestial bronze sword had fully formed in my hand; I slashed at the giant paw it had reached toward me cutting off one of its claws. It had barely phased it, as soon as it made contact; I felt a powerful force connecting me to it, like a giant magnet. The whole world went dark; I realized we were shadow traveling, when we came out, the force connecting us ceased, and the hellhound launched into the vast void behind me. There goes near death situation number two, here I come number three.

I just lay there in shock for a while; the hellhound had taken me to Tartarus.

Then I heard a horribly familiar chuckle and a voice that seemed to speak straight into my mind, I_ may have lost this war, but I will always return, you cannot stop time, and I speak for time. Even if I cannot win this battle, I will have my moment of satisfaction after I destroy you._ The voice then began a chant, one that he had heard before. It was Kronos, and he was trying to pull him into Tartarus.

I ran for all I was worth, towards the exit passageway, I turned around a corner and stopped. Where the tunnel would usually exit to the fields of Asphodel, there was a huge metal door.

I ran up to the door, banging on it for all I was worth, the chant was nearly done, I remembered from last time, and this time I would get pulled in.

A shape stepped out of the darkness next to me and grabbed hold. So began the second episode of shadow travel in so many minutes.

When we landed, we were in the palace of Hades. I looked around and saw Nico, son of Hades, grinning at me.

"So, Percy, how's it going?"

Hey, what do you know, I beat all three of the near death experiences in the last five minutes.

I could tell this was just going to get better and better.

**So, there it is, give me enough comments and I can say, 'So begins an epic story, involving love, heartbreak, monsters and multiple types of cheese.'**

_**Bowing to the crowd,**_** yes, I know, I am awesome.**


	2. A Surprise Visit from My Great Grandad

Chapter ΙΙ

A Surprise Visit from My Great-Great-Grandfather

Disclaimer: These characters be unowned by me

**Thanks to everyone who has already visited my first chapter, so far Australia is in the lead for reviews (I love the breakdown on countries in reviews). Keep it up; I can type fast, so review faster.**

I

have to wonder if the fates are actually after me, or if I bring it on myself.

"_What _the _heck_ just happened?" I asked Nico.

He stared at me like I was blowing this all out of proportion. "Well," he said slowly and clearly, as if speaking to a caveman, or some guy from Aphrodite, "a hellhound just shadow traveled you to Tartarus, where Kronos tried to suck you in. But the gods were looking for you anyway, so I shadow traveled to you, at which point I found you trying to get out. So I grabbed you, brought you here."

"Why was Tartarus blocked?"

"My dad's trying to prevent the more dangerous monsters from getting out until things settle down. He can only keep it up for a few months, but at the moment, no monster can get in or out of Tartarus. Only shadow travel with a powerful source behind it, like my dad and Kronos can get through. That will only work a few times for us, but Kronos is weak enough that it must have taken all his strength to do that."

"Why are the gods looking for me?"

Nico shrugged, "I don't know, my dad just came out and asked me to get you. I wasn't in the room, but I think something is at Olympus that's freaking the gods out. My dad was almost polite to me, which is a sure sign that something's wrong."

"Well, we should better get going then."

Nico grabbed my shoulder, but instead of stepping into the shadows, he restrained me. "What's going on, Percy, you seem upset?"

I glared at him angrily, "It's none of your business, Nico."

I tried to step into the shadows again, but Nico had a grip of iron, "Whether it's my business or not, you still need to talk to someone. I may not be as close to you as your other friends, but listening is one thing I'm good at. Whatever you tell me, you can be sure I won't tell anyone else without your permission."

I sighed, "You can go ahead and tell anyone you want, but they probably already know, I'd be willing to bet Apollo's already filled everyone in."

"What did Apollo do?"

"Annabeth left me for him."

Quick, that was the way to get it out; no way I could linger on this. I waited for Nico to respond, and then felt his hand tighten on my shoulder, so tight he might have hurt someone who hadn't taken a dip in the Styx. I looked at his face, and was surprised to see anger even more intense than mine, and that was when I was stupid enough to punch a god.

"Why the _hell_," he snarled, "would she be stupid enough to do that?"

I may have been miserable, but you didn't have to exactly be a mind reader to tell this was way more than anger for a friend's sake.

"What's the deal?" I asked.

He breathed out slowly, "It's nothing, just a childish promise from a long time ago." When he could tell I wasn't going to drop it, he clenched his teeth and continued. "When I met Annabeth at Geryon's ranch, she and I became friends. She promised me that she would always be there for me."

"What does that have to do with her and Apollo?"

He glared at me, "Apollo isn't exactly like the other gods, if he gets together with a half-blood, he's staying with her. She's going to become his immortal life on Olympus someday. Let's face it; gods don't have time for little heroes like us."

"I don't think Annabeth would do that."

"Yes, she would, Percy. People change when they become gods; I've heard stories of Ariadne before she became immortal. She used to be the kind of person who always made people laugh; now she's cold and cynical. I've met her, and I doubt anyone can avoid becoming like that as an immortal."

I couldn't think of anything to say, he was right. I'd never thought about it, but Mr. D was the same way. I'd heard that he had been one of the best friends you could have when he was mortal. Now he was lazy, and unwilling to admit his shortcomings.

Nico took another deep breath, then grabbed my arm and took me to Olympus.

When we got there, the gods were all full sized and sitting in their thrones, even Apollo, who, I was pleased to see, had a split lip that he had hadn't had time to heal.

I and Nico bowed before Zeus.

"Rise, heroes." He rumbled.

We straightened, as I did, I saw a man I hadn't noticed before, normal sized, wearing a white Greek _chiton_ and blue jeans, which I thought was a bit odd.

Zeus noticed my gaze, but didn't seem to be in a hurry to explain.

"I understand you and my son had a little… disagreement." He said quietly, without a trace of anger or irritation.

"Yes, sir." I said, with a little apprehension.

He nodded, "I'm not angry with you; I've seen men do worse under Aphrodite's influence."

I turned around and glared at Aphrodite, who shifted under my gaze. "I wasn't aware I was under anyone's influence… sir."

Zeus grunted, it might have been a laugh. "You probably were, she has an unfortunate habit of interfering just after great victories."

I continued glaring at Aphrodite, until she finally spoke.

"I swear to you, Perseus, I had nothing to do with this, it was completely natural."

I nodded, though I was still angry. Still, one thing I had learned about Aphrodite was that she didn't lie very often. She was far more honest about her nature than the other gods.

I turned back to Zeus, as I did, the man behind him walked forward confidently, as if thirteen super powerful beings weren't glaring at him. I studied him, he had long blond hair that reached to his shoulder, his face was clean shaven. He had eyes that swirled and flashed with every color I had ever seen, and a few that looked like they might be beyond the spectrum humans could normally see. He had smile lines around his eyes that looked even deeper than my dad's, whoever he was, he probably laughed at everything. That only made me more confused when he hugged me.

He stepped away with a booming laugh, holding me at arm's length and studying me.

"Sorry I haven't been around, kid, but those pesky rules have to be upheld. Hopefully we can fix that, but until then we might as well get to know each other."

I looked at my dad with and expression that was probably hilarious, like who-the-heck-is-this-dude-and-should-I-hit-him-over-the-head-now kind of look.

My dad didn't laugh, so this must be pretty serious.

"Percy, this is your great-great-grandfather, Chaos."

**Duh-Duh-Duh, bet no one guessed beforehand who he was, if you did, you must be able to read minds or something. By the way, sorry to all the Percabeth fans out there, but I have a thing set up that Annabeth can't be involved in. I'll have the new chapter up pretty quick.**

** P.S. I could definitely use a beta reader, position open if anyone wants to volunteer, I'm not picky about it.**


	3. Gods Get Themselves Hurt

Chapter ΙΙΙ

Gods Get Themselves Hurt

Disclaimer: this is a little repetitive, but fan fiction means I probably don't own it

** Hello, yet again, my few fans. Please review; I need a beta reader, feel free to give me ideas, blah, blah. All the normal junk you expect. I decided to include lyrics in each chapter just for the heck of it, let me know if you all want me to stop. If you don't like country, skip this part, and then go become a fan of country music.**

**Didn't I**

**James Wesley**

******If regrets were like raindrops  
>There'd be a river running through this house<br>If our love was like a circus  
>I'd be the sad-faced clown<br>Walking with my head down  
>Wondering where you are now<strong>

**Didn't I wrap my arms around you  
>Stare in your eyes and swear I loved you<br>Didn't I, baby didn't I  
>Give you everything you ever wanted<br>Love you like crazy let's be honest  
>Didn't I, baby didn't I?<br>Didn't I?**

**I thought we were like a stone wall  
>Solid all the way around<br>I never knew you'd be the wrecking ball  
>To bring us tumbling down<br>Till I woke up that Friday morning  
>To find you gone, you were gone<strong>

**Didn't I wrap my arms around you  
>Stare in your eyes and swear I loved you<br>Didn't I, baby didn't I  
>Give you everything you ever wanted<br>Love you like crazy, let's be honest  
>Didn't I, baby didn't I?<br>Didn't I?**

**Didn't I wrap my arms around you  
>Stare in your eyes and swear I loved you<br>Oh baby didn't I  
>Give you everything you ever wanted<br>Love you like crazy, let's be honest  
>Didn't I, baby didn't I?<br>Didn't I, baby didn't I?  
>Oh baby didn't I?<strong>

Now, I don't know what you see when you think of Chaos, the first god, but I always imagined him as wearing all black, maybe with a goatee like Hades. I did not imagine him as wearing a _chiton_ and blue jeans, smiling like I was his favorite great-great-grandson.

Then he noticed Nico, and acted exactly the same way about him. I was officially starting to like him already, unlike the gods, he didn't show favoritism. He probably would react the same to any of his relatives. Well, maybe not the insane grandson who just tried to destroy the world, but almost anyone else.

The gods didn't exactly look thrilled to see him, I get the impression that he only showed up with bad news. Chaos, on the other hand, seemed like he was simply happy to finally meet us, maybe being the bearer of bad news makes you appreciate the good moments with your family.

That, or he was insane, but I figured I was owed at least one nice relative (especially after Hera, now _she_ is the definition of psychotic).

Zeus stood, "Why have you come here, Chaos?"

Chaos looked up at him good-naturedly, "What, I can't just drop in to say hi to my favorite generation of kids?"

Zeus grumbled, "You could, but you never seem to get around to it until there's a possibility we're all going to die."

Chaos nodded, "Excellent point, but this time I actually came with a little bit of good news. I finally managed to change those stupid rules my little sisters made up. I wouldn't have cared about them if it wasn't for their tendency to incinerate the kids involved in breaking them."

The gods murmured, but they didn't seem all that happy about it.

I stepped forward, "Are you talking about those ancient laws, like direct interference?"

Chaos shrugged, "Of course, what else would I be talking about?"

I rolled my eyes, "Some law that the gods 'forgot' to tell us about?"

Said gods started grumbling, like they would _ever_ avoid telling us about something like that.

Zeus stood up, "What do you mean by that?"

I rolled my eyes yet again (I could tell I would be doing that a lot today), "I don't know, _uncle_, it couldn't have anything to do with you avoiding telling me you thought I was destined to die until the last minute, could it?"

Zeus glared at me, but before he could respond, Chaos let out a laugh that was far more than the occasion warranted.

"I like this one," he bellowed, "he's got more guts than all of you put together."

The gods bristled, but they seemed to be wary of Chaos, he obviously could insult them as much as he wanted, I doubted they could stop him.

Ares, of course, was the only one stupid enough to try anything.

He jumped up from his throne and glared at Chaos, his eyes flamed until his hair started getting singed.

"You shouldn't insult us, _old man_; all of us together are more powerful than you."

Chaos raised his eyebrows, but he also seemed to be suppressing a grin, he had obviously dealt with Ares before.

"If you're so big and strong, why don't you try to fight me, I'm sure it would be _interesting_."

Ares didn't need any more of an invitation; he grabbed his two-handed sword from his throne, shrank down to normal size, and charged at Chaos.

I could barely take a breath before it was over.

Chaos' sword appeared from thin air, it was a long sword similar to Anaklusmos, but a bit wider at the guard. That, and it seemed to be made of molten gemstones, swirling all around it, I saw seven different types. I couldn't identify them all, but I saw diamond, emerald, amethyst and ruby.

Chaos stepped to the side, and swung his sword up to clothesline Ares. He made sure the flat part of the blade was facing Ares so he would only get a severe concussion.

Ares tried to slow down, but his momentum flung his head into the blade. He landed flat on his back and cracked the marble floor further.

Chaos glanced up, "Anyone else?"

They all shook their heads.

"I thought not."

I have to admit, I was sort of in awe of this guy, the speed he reacted with was something you could only get from years of continuous practice. The unlimited power probably had something to do with it, but he had obviously trained extensively.

Chaos grinned at me, "You'd think he'd learn his lesson after the seventy-fifth time, but no, he has to keep getting himself beat up."

I grinned back; this guy was way more awesome than any kind of grandparent had the right to be. Sort of like the Arnold Schwarzenegger of immortals.

"So," Zeus said, "what do you mean about the ancient laws being overturned?"

Chaos gave him a look that said something along the lines of, you're-being-to-much-of-an-idiot-right-now-for-me-to-care-about-answering-you.

Zeus scowled, "I meant to ask, 'How can you change the ancient laws?'."

Chaos rolled his eyes, "Well, one would assume it has something to do with the Fates compliance, judging by what I said before."

"So you just convinced the Fates to forget the rules?"

"More or less."

"How much less?"

Chaos snorted, "They will allow direct interference in your children's affairs, but you have to have actual relationships with your kids."

"Meaning?"

Chaos glared around the room, looking serious for the first time, "You have to raise them all, live with their human parents, pretty much act like you're not gods."

This caused a bit of a stir. Everyone except my father and Hades seemed extremely upset.

I decided I might as well push my luck a bit more, since I hadn't been blasted into bits yet.

"What are you all so upset about? If you had been able to do this before, Luke wouldn't have tried to destroy you."

They all glared at me, except Hermes, who was starting to look a bit depressed. Can't blame him, if I had a son who tried to kill me because I was a bad parent, I'd probably be a little upset too.

"We should also include something involving _not_ blasting demigods and their parents to bits." I glared at Zeus.

"If you have something to say to me, nephew, spit it out." He almost snarled.

I sighed; apparently I was going to have to dredge this up around Nico. I didn't want to, but they weren't exactly giving me a choice.

I decided to keep it short, "Maria di Angelo?" I said it as a question, both accusing and questioning on his reasoning.

Zeus grumbled, "I had to take care of the kids, I didn't think Hades would do anything about it, so I intervened."

"Really, well, we all know how well that worked out. As far as I'm concerned, this whole war was your fault, and I think quite a few others feel the same."

By the time I had finished, Zeus was literally glaring lightning; the bolts came dangerously close to incinerating everyone in the room.

"How was Lucas's insanity my fault?"

Hermes glared at him; I was starting to realize that no one else actually knew the whole story; they only had bits and pieces. So I started into the story from the beginning, with Zeus killing Maria di Angelo. Then I continued until everyone knew the correlation of events.

"How did you learn all this, nephew?"

"Two dreams, a vision from Hestia, and a vision from Prometheus."

He was silent for a time, "I still don't see how any of this is my fault, I did what was necessary."

Everyone in the room, including Chaos, started yelling at the same time.

"YOU'RE GOING TO ADMIT YOUR FLAWS, OR I WILL PERSONALLY SEE TO IT THAT YOU'RE THROWN INTO TARTARUS WITH YOUR FATHER!" Chaos yelled over every other sound.

The room went deathly quiet; Zeus glared at him with cold intensity. "Do not threaten me, Chaos, or I will destroy you."

Chaos's eyes flickered, going flat black for a moment, and then flashing an angry blue-white, like the hottest flames. An aura of similar color appeared around Zeus, lifting him from his throne. He was thrown across the room, into his own statue, where he lay, unconscious.

Chaos looked around the room with satisfaction, "I don't approve of the way he went about it, but perhaps Kronos was right about rebuilding. Zeus has obviously let his rule go to his head. Maybe it would be better if you had all lived as mortals first, I should have arranged that. But, it's too late now; we can't afford to have all of you gone for that long."

He looked thoughtfully around the room, and then his eyes settled on me and Nico. He withdrew deep within himself.

"Perhaps, yes, why not? There's nothing against it." He continued musing for some time, though none of his comments made real sense to anyone.

I decided he needed to say something, it's not like any of the gods were going to speak up; Chaos might decide to beat them up. "Since someone has to ask, what the hell are you talking about?"

Chaos grinned at him, coming out of his reverie. "I just had an idea, how would you two, and Thalia for that matter, like to try a bit of hardcore training down in the void? It would be good experience for you, and it might save your life in the future."

Somewhere in the middle of this, Zeus woke up. He got unsteadily to his feet, "You are not taking my daughter to the void, Chaos."

Chaos let out and exasperated sigh, "Sit down, Zeus, before you get yourself hurt again."

Zeus glared at him, but finally figured out that this guy can kick his butt. He walked over to his throne with a gait that seemed similar to Dionysus's, like he had had too much wine.

Chaos was looking at us, expecting an answer.

I thought about it, it's not like I have anything to hold me here anyway, I might as well learn to kick some serious godly butt while I was sitting around. "I'm in."

Nico decided to speak, good thing, I thought he might have turned to stone. There were a few people in the room who would like to do something like that. "I'm in too, I get the feeling I'm going to seriously enjoy this."

Chaos grinned, "Excellent, now we just need to ask Thalia."

"No need, I'm in as well."

Of course she was here; she'd been around Artemis long enough that she would appear whenever people talked about her. Gods, and people who were around them long enough, tend to do that. It's pretty dang irritating sometimes, but there's nothing I can do about it.

Chaos grinned again, a feral grin that seemed reminiscent of a wolf looking at its pack.

"Then let's get the heck out of here, time to learn to kick some godly butt."

**There we go again, several gods get beat up severely, Chaos trains Percy, Nico and Thalia. Everything you've come to expect from a good fanfiction. Please don't harm yourselves while waiting for the next chapter, look up that song from the beginning.**

**-Wayhaynalo **


	4. Time to Try and Learn to Kill Some Gods

Chapter ΙV

Time to Try and Learn To Kill Some Gods

Disclaimer: Once again, this be unowned by me, but by now you've figured that out

** Sorry it took me so long to update, but I've been crazy busy, there's been a few, um, issues. Most of them involve my brother falling off the roof and his wife being pregnant; hopefully his back will heal quickly! So, here you go, new song, country rap, sort of weird, but Jason Aldean can afford to experiment. After all, he has the dedicated fan base of desperate girls with my sister at the heart of it.**

**Dirt Road Anthem**

**Jason Aldean**

**Yeah, I'm chillin' on a dirt road,  
>Laid back swervin' like I'm George Jones.<br>Smoke rollin' out the window,  
>An' ice cold beer sittin' in the console.<br>Memory lane up in the headlights,  
>It's got me reminiscing on them good times.<br>I'm turning off of real life, drivin' that's right,  
>I'm hittin' easy street on mud tires.<strong>

**Back in the day Pott's farm was the place to go.  
>Load the truck up, hit the dirt road.<br>Jump the barbwire, spread the word.  
>Light the bonfire, then call the girls.<br>The king in the can and the Marlboro man.  
>Jack'n'Jim were a few good men.<br>Where ya learned how to kiss and cuss and fight too.  
>Better watch out for the boys in blue.<strong>

**And all this small town he said, she said,  
>Ain't it funny how rumors spread.<br>Like I know something ya'll don't know,  
>Man that talk is gettin' old.<br>Ya better mind your business, man, watch your mouth,  
>Before I have to knock that loud mouth out.<br>I'm tired of talkin, man, ya'll ain't listenin',  
>Them old dirt roads is what ya'll missin'.<strong>

**I'm chillin' on a dirt road.  
>Laid back swervin' like I'm George Jones.<br>Smoke rollin' out the window,  
>An' ice cold beer sittin' in the console.<br>Memory lane up in the headlights,  
>It's got me reminiscing on them good times.<br>I'm turning off of real life, drivin' that's right,  
>I'm hittin' easy street on mud tires.<strong>

**I sit back and think about them good ole days.  
>The way we were raised, and our southern ways,<br>And we like cornbread, and biscuits,  
>And if it's broke round here we fix it.<br>I can take ya'll where ya need to go,  
>Down to my hood, back in them woods.<strong>

**We do it different 'round here, that's right,  
>But we sure do it good, and we do it all night.<br>See, if you really wanna know how it feels,  
>To get off the road with trucks and four wheels,<br>Jump on in, and man, tell your friends,  
>We'll raise some hell where the blacktop ends.<strong>

**I'm chillin' on a dirt road.  
>Laid back swervin' like I'm George Jones.<br>Smoke rollin' out the window,  
>An' ice cold beer sittin' in the console.<br>Memory lane up in the headlights,  
>It's got me reminiscing on them good times.<br>I'm turning off of real life, driving that's right,  
>I'm hittin' easy street on mud tires.<br>That's right.**

**Yeah, I'm chillin' on a dirt road.  
>Laid back swervin' like I'm George Jones.<br>Smoke rollin' out the window,  
>And ice cold beer sittin' in the console.<br>Memory lane up in the headlights,  
>It's got me reminiscing on them good times.<br>I'm turning off of real life, drivin' that's right,  
>I'm hittin' easy street on mud tires.<br>That's right.**

This place rocked.

The void was _not_ what you would expect, the place looked like a luxury beach resort, it made Circe's island seem like a hobo hut.

It was a small island in the middle of an ocean; again, I could tell it was salt water. It had a whole bunch of individual houses that looked like vacation houses, with those appliances that were smarter than their salesmen. The water was clearer than I'd ever seen, like pollution never happened, and there was a coral reef like the kind you see in Australia. But then, what do I know, I've never been to Australia. The sky was a blue at the moment, but there were clouds in the distance, but they didn't look threatening, they were those kinds of clouds that would just deliver enough rain to wake you up and refresh your senses. The place seemed to have those same kinds of invisible servants as on Calypso's island, which you would only notice because here and there a some stacks of towels were straightening themselves.

"Wow," I said, "no wonder you don't visit often, I wouldn't want to leave either."

Chaos smiled, "It does have its charms, but you wouldn't believe how boring it gets after a few thousand years."

I saw his point, leaving on occasion was probably necessary for this guy, after all, he was related to me. He couldn't exactly be mellow, or I would accuse him of lying.

"So," Nico said, "when exactly does this training start?"

Chaos looked up at the sun, which had just reached its apex in the sky.

"It begins now."

We were sweating bullets, pretty literally, because I was trying to get six rounds off a Mossberg 500 in less than a second.

You see, Chaos wanted to see our proficiency with all weapons before he taught us anything, and I was having a little trouble with the ranged weapons. I think Apollo must still be out to get me; because I had almost killed someone a few hundred times. That's unnatural; normally it doesn't go over a hundred for at least six hours when I start trying.

"Come on, Percy, focus." Chaos said while dodging a bullet that had somehow ricocheted off the wood backing of the target, even though it should have torn through it.

"I _am _focusing; long range just isn't my thing."

"Hmm." He started rummaging in the seemingly endless trunk of weapons he had brought out. "Ah ha!" He exclaimed, holding up two sniper rifles, about 5 feet long, with an extended handle so it didn't always need a stand, although it had an attached tripod anyway. They had small rapid fire discs attached as well, they looked like they could hold about 20 bullets each.

"What kind are those?"

"TAC-50, .50 caliber, extended handles so you can afford to shoot them without the stand. Specially refitted to fire my own, rather special bullets. Each one is a mixture of stygian iron, celestial bronze, imperial gold, and silver. They can kill any monster on contact, and these have enough power to even cut through drakon hide."

I looked at them, they seemed a little showy to me, but if I could shoot them without it being counted as attempted suicide, I was all for it.

I grabbed them both, figuring that using two meant I had twice the chance of hitting something. I carefully aligned my shot, surprised that I almost did it automatically, these felt much more natural in my hands than anything else. They were lighter than you would expect, they felt like they weighed five pounds. I squeezed the trigger, they had a bit of kick, but I could easily handle it, and they only let off one bullet whenever I squeezed the trigger. I was grateful for that, they would be easier to control. I was a little sad I couldn't pick them up and start machine gun firing, mobster style. Both bullets hit the padded target perfectly in the dead center.

Everyone looked a combination of shocked and impressed, myself included.

Chaos nodded, "I wondered about that, sometimes the natural born ability to use the blade translates into targeting. It's a lot easier with sniper rifles, they're much more accurate. You seem to have a gift for accuracy, but your lack of skill with stopping the kickback throws you off. Apollo's curse probably didn't help either."

I nodded, not surprised or insulted, in Apollo's place; I probably would have done something worse. "What was that metal you talked about, imperial gold? And why would you put silver in it?"

Chaos grinned, seeming happy with the questions. "Imperial gold is a special metal, more powerful than celestial bronze, but also more dangerous, it's very unpredictable, and attracts monsters like crazy. As for the silver, that's just in case you happen to run across some werewolves."

"Werewolves?"

"Lycoan and his minions, they would happily kill you on site, but they're easy to kill with silver."

I nodded; I'd heard the story of Lycoan before.

"Is it safe to come out?" Nico called from the nearest house.

"Safe, Percy found something he can actually shoot." Chaos yelled back.

Nico and Thalia came out of the house, Thalia had arrived pretty quickly after we had; she had seemed exited to learn from Chaos. Maybe she had heard how he had beat up her dad and Ares. They hadn't had any trouble with their weapon evaluation, but then again, they didn't have an archery god after them.

Chaos handed Percy two specialized holsters for his TAC-50's, which he could put on either side of his body.

"Now," Chaos said with a feral grin, "it's time we get down to the most interesting training."

He grabbed ahold of them, somehow grabbing both mine and Nico's wrist in one hand, Thalia's in the other. Small, multicolored, insubstantial tendrils snaked up their arms and into their mouths. They didn't taste like anything at all; I couldn't even tell it was there.

He let go of our wrists. "That was a small part of my powers, you are each more powerful than any of the individual gods now. If you strained yourself, you could probably even take three of them down at once. You also have the ability to kill them if necessary, but hopefully it won't come to that. More likely, you'll be able to permanently kill monsters and the more evil immortals."

I didn't feel any different, but I knew I was going to enjoy this.

"Let's get going, I've gotta get back and kick Ares into his own statue."

**Now who wouldn't want to see that, hopefully the next chapter will include more godly injuries? Who else wants me to rip Ares to pieces? New chapter be here soon.**


	5. I Get to Beat Up Ares

Chapter V

I Get to Beat Up Ares

Disclaimer: I. Don't. Own. Percy. Jackson. Why do we have to do this on _**Fanfiction**_.net

**Good news, my brother didn't get severely injured, well, nothing's broken anyway. Incidentally, does anyone know why bobcats would go after a specific person. Because my brother fell off due to a bobcat attack, and they just hate him, I don't know, maybe he smells too bad for them. Oh, and if I **_**ever**_** start talking in text, virtually slap me, okay? My sister does that, and it drives me insane.**

**What Do Ya Think About That**

**Montgomery Gentry**

**I heard it through the grapevine  
>My new neighbor don't like my big red barn<br>A '47 Ford, bullet holes in the door  
>Broke down motor in the front yard<br>I got half a mind to paint a plywood sign  
>And nail it up on a notty pine tree<br>Saying I was here first  
>This is my piece of dirt<br>And your rambling don't rattle me**

**Some people care about what other people think  
>Worry about what they say<br>Let a little gossip  
>Coming from a loose lip ruin a perfect day<br>Say, blah, blah, blah, just a jacking their jaws  
>Got a letta roll off-a my back<br>I don't give a dern what other people think  
>What do ya think about that<strong>

**I wear what I want to, overalls work boots  
>Crank my music up loud<br>Like to sling a little mud in my four wheel drive  
>Trek it all into town<strong>

**Shot a little eight ball down at the pool hall  
>Drink a beer with my friends<br>Now don't judge me and I won't judge you  
>Cause we all get judged in the end<strong>

**Some people care about what other people think  
>Worry about what they say<br>Let a little gossip  
>Coming from a loose lip ruin a perfect day<br>Say, blah, blah, blah, just a jacking their jaws  
>Got a letta roll offa my back<br>I don't give a dern what other people think  
>What do ya think about that<strong>

**Some people care about what other people think  
>Worry about what they say<br>Let a little gossip  
>Coming from a loose lip ruin a perfect day<br>Say, blah, blah, blah, just a jacking their jaws  
>Got a letta roll offa my back<br>I don't give a dern what other people think  
>What do ya think about that<strong>

**Say, I don't give a damn what other people think  
>What do ya think about that<br>What do ya think about that**

A large drakon was heading towards me, getting ready to pounce. Harsh training, right? Not so much anymore, Chaos's powers were way better than my own. It was like I could feel the drakon moving through the air.

Oh, did I mention it was pitch black.

I grabbed both of my TAC-50's, then let loose with them. Now, a normal drakon would have been blasted to bits with the first shot, but Chaos had changed this one. It was about four times as big as a normal one, so it couldn't even have fit in the streets in New York. It's teeth were each twice as tall as me, and it's hide was magically reinforce, so you would have to hit it with four bullets in the exact same spot. I couldn't do that while it was moving, unfortunately. So I put the guns away, and uncapped Anaklusmos, nothing like a good old sword to finish something off. I charged straight at it, looking it in the eyes without flinching, Chaos's training had done that to me.

I jumped, higher than I had ever been able to before, onto the top of the drakon's head. I grabbed onto the edge of one of its scales as it flung its head, trying to get me off. I tried to crawl towards the eyes, they were a very weak point on a drakon, but I couldn't get there with all the tossing.

Then another thought occurred to me, I grabbed a TAC-50 with my left hand and fired six times between one of its scales, in the exact same spot. It roared and thrashed at first, but after I had got off five rounds, it started to disintegrate, the sixth shot was already started by that point, so I let it go. Trying to stop a shot never seem to work for me, I had almost hurt myself trying that a few times, my aim tended to go awry.

When the hide started deflating like a big black balloon, I jumped off, landing just clear of the teeth as they crashed down. It probably would've looked really cool in slow motion.

The lights came on, I was underground; Chaos had this huge underground complex beneath the island. It was specifically for training us; he said he could shift things around in the void with barely a thought. It was a part of him, and he could move it like a muscle.

I flexed my own muscles, not even a bead of sweat; this was getting easier and easier. I had caught on pretty quickly with the powers, so they didn't need all that much work. The sword fighting was a bit harder, he expected us to be able to defeat anything, so I needed a bit of work, even with the heightened ability that came with the power of Chaos.

The sniper training was my favorite part; he moved me farther and farther away from the targets; then got them moving. I could hit a target an inch wide from five miles away, three if it was moving fast. It was just a bit harder when a drakon was charging at you, even if the eyes couldn't freak me out the way they could before, they could still jar my concentration.

There was slightly sarcastic clapping from just past the lights, and Chaos, Thalia, and Nico came out. Thalia and Nico had finished their own assessments just before me.

Chaos grinned, "I'd say your training is done." He looked at his stopwatch, "Thirty-eight seconds flat, looks like he beat you, Nico." Nico grinned at me, he had taken just over forty seconds, with Thalia a tenth of a second slower.

I grinned back, me and Nico had become much better friends than before, near deadly training can do that to you. Then I looked at Chaos, "Are we really done? I need to get back and explain all this to my mom."

Chaos rolled his eyes, "No, you don't, you think you've been here, what, a week? Haven't you noticed that the sun never moved? Time is flexible here, although there is a pattern, I brought you here during one of the still sessions, in a few days, time will speed up here."

I nodded, I had gotten used to the little quirks the void had, everything from the random shapes in the waves to the invisible servants who never seem to run out of various cheese cubes to serve us (incidentally, have you ever tried kefalotyri, it's amazing, especially on fire).

"Time for us to go back."

=0=0=0=0=00=0=0=0=

We stepped from the void to Olympus, where the gods were all still assembled. They all stared at us. I looked around, and saw that both Nico and Thalia were wearing reflective armor that flickered and seemed to be reflecting something besides the throne room, first it was a wooded forest, then a coral reef. I looked down and saw I had similar armor on. I guessed Chaos felt the need to add some dramatic flair, I had noticed during our time in the void that he had a slight preference for the theatrical, although it wasn't as bad as Zeus.

Zeus stood, and I noticed that he was still a little unsteady from his little, ah, accident. "What are you doing back so soon, was there some issue?"

Chaos grinned, "Actually, we were in the void for about a week, time was just standing still."

The gods all nodded, I guess they may have remembered this from another time he had been here.

"So, here we are, they're back, you all are going to raise your kids, and I'm outta here." He bowed out, literally, fading out as he straightened up; his smile was the last thing to go. Way to go, Cheshire cat boy, I bet the author had met him before.

I laughed, much louder than I would have before; I had stopped caring about Annabeth and Apollo during my week in the void. If she wanted that haiku-blowing idiot, that was okay with me.

I grinned around at the gods, making sure the smile was just a little creepy, I wanted them to be creeped out.

"So, who missed us?" I said sarcastically.

Ares jumped up, of course, even though he had just gotten beat up. "You better show us more respect, punk, you don't have the old man here to protect you."

I sighed, he obviously never learned. "If you think I'm such a disrespectful little punk, why don't you do something about it?"

He grabbed his blade yet again; then charged me; I flexed my legs; then jumped clear over him, at least twenty feet, because he was still in giant mode. I landed on his back; then stabbed him once in the jugular; he grunted and threw me off. I landed on my feet; then shot him twice with one of my TAC-50's. Once in the back, once in the head, that ought to stop him for a while. He collapsed, I laughed just a little, "Apollo, why don't you take care of that, hopefully he won't suffer any permanent brain injury."

Apollo hurried to do as I suggested, seemingly happy I had decided not to punch him again, good, just because I wasn't angry anymore didn't mean I couldn't enjoy some vindictive pleasure.

I looked around, "Anyone else?"

They all shook their heads, some of them looked impressed, Artemis especially. I felt a thrill of pleasure at that, she was one girl who was hard to impress.

I grinned around at them all, "I think this is going to be fun."

** So, there we go, this should be interesting, let us continue to watch and see what happens. Please send me suggestions in reviews; then I'll mention you when I use them.**


	6. Let it Begin

Chapter VΙ

Let It Begin

**Disclaimer: Own this I do not.**

** Sorry it took me so long, I had two a days for football and didn't get home til' about ten o'clock. New song, and all you country fans should take a fancy letter C, combine it with a fancy W, and put it on your hats and clothing. It stands for country wide, just stickin' it to the farm boys who think city kids can't be country. If I'm offending you, too bad, I'm tired.**

**Country Must Be Country Wide**

**Brantley Gilbert**

**Grew up south of the Mason Dixon  
>Workin', spittin', huntin', and fishin'<br>Stone cold country by the grace of God**

**I was gasin' up the other day  
>An old boy pulled up with a license plate<br>From Ohio; thought "Oh, good Lord, he's lost"**

**From his Wranglers to his boots  
>He reminded me of Chris LeDoux<br>And that Copenhagen smile  
>Yeah, country must be country wide<strong>

**In every state, there's a station  
>Playin' Cash, Hank, Willie, and Waylon<br>In foreign cars and four-wheel drives  
>There's cowboys and hillbillies<br>From farm towns to big cities  
>There ain't no doubt in my mind<br>Country must be country wide**

**It ain't where, it's how you live  
>We weren't raised to take, we were raised to give<br>The shirt off our back to anyone in need**

**We bow our heads before we eat  
>Before we start our day, before we fall asleep<br>'Cause in God we trust, and we believe**

**And we see what's wrong  
>And we know what's right<br>And ol' Hank, he said it all  
>When he sang "Country Folks Can Survive"<strong>

**In every state, there's a station  
>Playin' Cash, Hank, Willie, and Waylon<br>In foreign cars and four-wheel drives  
>There's cowboys and hillbillies<br>From farm towns to big cities  
>There ain't no doubt in my mind<br>Country must be country wide**

**In every state, there's a station  
>Playin' Cash, Hank, Willie, and Waylon<br>In foreign cars and four-wheel drives  
>There's cowboys and hillbillies<br>From farm towns to big cities  
>There ain't no doubt in my mind<strong>

**In every state, there's a station  
>Playin' Cash, Hank, Willie, and Waylon<br>In foreign cars and four-wheel drives  
>There's cowboys and hillbillies<br>From farm towns to big cities  
>There ain't no doubt in my mind<br>There ain't no doubt in my mind  
>Country must be country wide<strong>

I sat around for a while, just hanging around to get the gods nervous; they didn't know what I was capable of. It made them nervous, and I was enjoying it; the only one who wasn't nervous was Artemis. She would look at me sometimes, and I would look back, she wasn't afraid, but she did blush and look down.

Wait a sec, Artemis _blushed_, at me, because I looked at her. I knew how to read people well enough, and I could tell it had something to do with me. Maybe she was just anxious out of thankfulness, for me saving her from Atlas. That must be it.

Zeus finally stood; he seemed to have regained his composure.

"I would like a full account of what happened, child."

My eyes flashed pure white, Zeus shrunk back into his throne, wise of him.

"If you're going to call me 'child', you can just wonder what _exactly _it is I can do."

Zeus flared up immediately, "You will show me more respect, _I_ am a god."

I sighed in exasperation, "Yes, and that's a plant, and that's a table, and I'm a Leo, in case you haven't noticed, no one _cares_."

He roared and charged at me, grabbing his bolt. He threw it at me, and I caught it. He stopped in shock.

"If you're going to attack me," I said, tossing the bolt into a corner, "use your sword, not your powers. You might tempt to test my own powers out on _you_."

He hesitated, and I thought he might be smart enough to not attack me.

Yeah, right, the odds are better of Hades putting on a white blouse and dancing around singing Kumbaya.

He made his sword appear out of thin air, I clicked riptide.

He ran at me, swinging his sword, I bent backwards, out of his reach. He tried an overhand cut; I used Anaklusmos to deflect it. He continued to use raw power, and I always dodged or deflected it, I was dancing around him, mocking him. We continued for about ten minutes, then I started to get bored, time to go on the attack.

I swept my sword at his ankles, he jumped, but barely. Then I began a blurring sequence of moves, moving so fast, he didn't have time to even look surprised. After a last series of moves, I stuck my sword into the floor and swung around it to kick him in the chest, he flew back into a statue of himself (different one), and draped to the floor, unconscious yet again.

I got riptide back in pen form; then looked around, "Can we _please_ be done now, it's sort of obvious none of you can beat me, and if I get annoyed, I can't guarantee I won't hurt him permanently."

A few of them laughed, they obviously don't like Zeus any more than I do.

Hera stood, ignoring the look of irritation she got from everyone in the room.

"If you would allow us, we would like to know the _full_ extent of your abilities."

I sighed, politeness didn't excuse the fact she wanted to know if she could manage to kill me or not. "If you want to know my _full_ abilities, you'll have to ask Chaos, I still haven't learned everything. We are more powerful than any of you individually, and the three of us together could probably destroy every one of you." They were all a _little_ (extremely) angry with me for that, but I held up my hand before someone could get themselves hurt. "You asked for our abilities, and I told you, make what you will of it."

There was a bit of awkward silence, but I wasn't one to just wait for someone to say something.

"Did you have something else to ask us, or can we leave now?"

Hera bit her lower lip, "Since my husband lacks enough consciousness to ask right now, what exactly are the terms of being allowed to interfere directly."

"You have to raise your kids; that's it, you can all be in twenty places at once anyway, it's not like it's really that big a deal."

They apparently hadn't thought about that before, and some of them were starting to look happy about it.

Ares, who had gotten up, even if he was a bit unsteady, said, "I can teach my kids to start wars before they're even teenagers, I like this idea."

I sighed, "No deadly weapons around children, Ares."

He pouted, "Why not?"

"We should probably still keep the gods a secret; I don't think the world's quite ready for that."

"Fair point."

He didn't seem to hate me as much as before, might be he was a little impressed.

Hera piped up again, "If none of you mind; we would like you to start living here in Olympus, simply for curiosity's sake."

I was getting sick of the evasions, "That sounds fine, but if you want to make sure we don't decide to destroy you, why not just say so?"

Artemis giggled, sounding like the little girls she represented. Did she get a personality transfusion, or what?

Hera glared at me, but almost everyone else looked like they agreed with my line of thinking; diplomacy caused more problems than it solved.

"So, who will take in the little monsters?"

Maybe I shouldn't be so surprised, since she was acting weird already, but Artemis spoke up, "I will."

Hera looked shocked, "Really, Artemis, two of them are boys."

She rolled her eyes, "Yes, but they aren't complete idiots, unlike most."

None of the guys even flinched; they were obviously used to her.

Hera shrugged, Artemis was Leto's daughter by Zeus, I don't think she really cared what she did. Hera shifted her gaze to us, "Will you all find this agreeable?"

"Sure, we can play monopoly, spar, play poker with sniper rifles, all the usual stuff when you're over at someone's house."

Artemis managed to hide her grin this time.

Nico and Thalia agreed as well, and we were off to the weirdest sleepover on the planet.

**There we are, the stage is set, I wonder how soon Artemis will try to murder Percy. Again, I apologize for taking so long, please review, review, review.**


	7. This Makes No Sense

Chapter VΙΙ

This Makes No Sense

**Disclaimer: Me no own**

** AHHHHH, GIANT ORANGE CANNIBAL GUINEA PIGS! You people better be reading this now, I want reviews, a beta reader, and ideas from said reviews. Let it begin. Lightningkid333, **_**ding, ding, ding, what do we have for her Johnny**_**? You guessed it.**

**Made in America **

**Toby Keith**

**My old man's that old man  
>Spent his life livin' off the land<br>Dirty hands and a clean soul  
>It breaks his heart seein' foreign cars<br>Filled with fuel that isn't ours  
>And wearin' cotton we didn't grow<strong>

**He's got the red, white, blue  
>Flyin' high on the farm<br>Semper fi tattooed on his left arm  
>Spend a little more in the store for a tag<br>In the back that says "USA"  
>He won't buy nothin' that he can't fix<br>With WD-40 and a Craftsman wrench  
>He ain't prejudice, he's just<br>Made in America**

**He loves his wife but she's that wife  
>That decorates on the 4th of July<br>But says, "Every day is Independence Day"  
>She's golden rule, teaches school<br>Some folks say it isn't cool  
>But she says the "Pledge of Allegiance" any way<strong>

**He's got the red, white, blue  
>Flyin' high on the farm<br>Semper fi tattooed on his left arm  
>Spend a little more in the store for a tag<br>In the back that says "USA"  
>He won't buy nothin' that he can't fix<br>With WD-40 and a Craftsman wrench  
>He ain't prejudice, he's just<br>Made in America**

**Born in the heartland  
>Raised up a family<br>Of King James and Uncle Sam  
><strong>

**He's got the red, white, blue  
>Flyin' high on the farm<br>Semper fi tattooed on his left arm  
>Spend a little more in the store for a tag<br>In the back that says "USA"  
>He won't buy nothin' that he can't fix<br>With WD-40 and a Craftsman wrench  
>He ain't prejudice, he's just<br>Made in America**

**Made in America  
>Made in America<br>Yeah, my old man's that old man  
>Made in America<strong>

This is starting to get messed up.

First, Artemis blushes, then, she giggles like a schoolgirl, then; she invites me to her house.

She's actually being nice to me now, where's the god of insanity, and why is he messing with her.

First thing when we got there, she took me up on my offer of sniper rifle poker, I won, and she seemed a bit impressed.

With sniper poker, there's a full deck of cards laid out, in this case, two miles away. With normal people, they're giant cards, with us; it's a normal size deck of cards. We draw our five cards from another deck, take up to three out, and aim for the cards we want to replace them.

I was lucky, and accurate, won four out of ten, Artemis won three, Thalia two, Nico one.

The boy who's friends with the dead always gets the bad luck, what a surprise.

Later, we watched S.W.A.T., me and Artemis debated if they actually knew how to shoot those rifles, or if they were just acting. Nico and Thalia smirked at us the whole time, as if they knew something we didn't. When we all decided that sleeping seemed like a good idea, Artemis gave each of us our own rooms, and mine was a beach.

I mean, a serious beach, half my bed was in salt water, the other half on sand that looked like it was from Jamaica. There was even a coral reef in the water.

Unless something had forced her to change her opinion for me, she had officially gone insane.

I woke up the next morning feeling refreshed as I climbed out on the salt water side. I got dressed, jeans and a button down, with just tennis shoes (don't judge me on making him a hick, someone has to be), because I can't really run in anything else. When I walked down to the kitchen to get started on my blue chocolate chip waffles, who should I find there but Artemis, already started on chocolate chip waffles, although they were the wrong color.

"Hey." I said, oh so eloquently.

"Hi, Percy." She said back, I still thought it was weird she called me by my normal name instead of 'Perseus'.

I frowned at the waffle mix, "You didn't need to get up early to make breakfast, I could have done it."

"I'm an early riser." She said shyly.

"So am I," I retorted, "it's only six."

She shrugged, I walked over to the cabinets, then started rummaging.

"What are you looking for?"

"Blue food coloring." The look on her face was priceless, she obviously thought I was insane, and I was enjoying it way too much. "My mom always makes anything she can blue, it's just a thing with us."

Her expression cleared as she verified my sanity, and she reached for the cabinet just next to her, then pulled out blue food coloring. She put some in the waffle mix, stirred, and poured it into the already ready waffle maker. As we were waiting for it to cook, she walked over to the radio, put it on a country station, and walked back over to lean against the counter across from me.

"You like country?" I asked, I had always taken her for a classical kind of girl, especially since the whole eternal goddess part came into play.

She nodded, looking embarrassed, "I can change it if you want."

"Not a chance, this is my favorite song."

It was 'Made in America' by Toby Keith, "You like country as well?" She asked, sounding shocked, although the jeans and button down should have made it obvious.

"Of course."

She wasn't quite over the shock, but she started singing along to the song anyway, she had a beautiful voice, and it was suited to this kind of music. I sang along to, but when it was over, there was that awkward silence before the next song, and I decided to jump off the cliff and talk to her.

"Just out of curiosity, why are you suddenly being so nice to me?"

Her countenance darkened, "It's not really any of your business, Percy."

I waited for her to realize just how stupid that sounded.

She threw up her hands, "Okay, so maybe it _is_ your business, but that doesn't mean I'm going to tell you."

"That's hardly fair."

"Life's not fair."

"A bit cliché, don't you think, Artemis."

She didn't answer, she seemed to be internally debating something, then she pushed of the counter, closed the distance between us, and kissed me full on the mouth.

I got over the shock quickly, but I still didn't have time to respond before she pulled off me. We stared into each other's eyes for an indefinite amount of time.

She tried to speak, "Percy, I'm…"

I kissed her again before she could try to apologize, if I let her, she'd start ranting, break off, and run away.

She laced her fingers through my hair, it was longer now, almost to my shoulders. I put my hands on her back and pulled her closer to me.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!"

** Short chapter, but I had to leave it there, cliffhangers are way too much fun to write. I'm proud, I got two chapters out in less than five hours. Review, give me ideas for some fun little bits to add in there.**


	8. How Many of Them Do I Have to Beat Up

Chapter VΙΙΙ

How Many of Them Do I Have to Beat Up

**Disclaimer: I don't own this stuff, obviously.**

** I am so sorry; I have no excuses but my life, football, weight training and a whole bunch of prep for thanksgiving. I know I don't deserve it, but please review and give me ideas for little bits of hilarity.**

**I Got You**

**Thompson Square**

**A car's got gasoline to run, down the road  
>A crop's got rain, dirt and sun, to make 'em grow<br>A song's got rhyme, a clock's got time  
>You got me and baby<strong>

**I got you  
>Yea you're it, the missing piece that makes me fit<br>I got you, the breath I breathe, and there ain't nothing else I need  
>Baby I got you,<br>Yeah yeah yeah yeah**

**I don't need a big ole house, full of stuff  
>What my arms are wrapped around, that's enough<br>Your morning smile, your kiss goodnight  
>And everything's alright<strong>

**I got you  
>Yea you're it, the missing piece that makes me fit<br>I got you, the breath I breathe, and there ain't nothing else I need  
>Baby I got you,<br>Yeah yeah yeah yeah  
>When the right goes wrong<br>When I'm scared to death and got nothing left to lean on**

**I got you  
>Yeah yeah yeah yeah<br>Yeah I do  
>Baby I got you<br>Yeah yeah yeah  
>Yeah you got me to<strong>

**I got you  
>Yea you're it, the missing piece that makes me fit<br>I got you, the breath I breathe, and there ain't nothing else I need  
>Baby I got you,<br>Yeah yeah yeah yeah**

**Yeah baby  
>I got you<br>Yeah yeah yeah yeah  
>Baby I got you<br>Baby I got you  
><strong>

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?"

Apollo and Annabeth were standing in the doorway, and they looked angry enough to kill, although I doubt they could manage.

I leaned back against the counter, casually enough to let them know I wasn't impressed. "Well, Artemis kissed me, then I kissed her back, I'd say it's sort of obvious."

They were still mad, how surprising.

Before Artemis did anything, Apollo had his bow out, and he shot three arrows at me. I dodged two, caught the third, and threw it back; it hit the bottom of his quiver and knocked it out. His arrows all spilled to the floor.

"Now let's talk this through calmly and reasonably." I said, "Anyone who can't, leave now, and I won't have to throw you off Olympus."

The look on their faces was priceless.

"Percy," Apollo said, and I could tell he was really trying to be calm, smart man, "why was it you were kissing my sister?"

I rolled my eyes; I thought I had been pretty clear. "She kissed me; then started to apologize, so I stopped her before she could start ranting." Artemis punched me in the arm; can't you just tell how much she loves me?

Apollo turned to Artemis, "Did you really kiss him, sis?"

She didn't beat around the bush, "Yep." Damn, I love this girl.

He looked taken aback, "Why?"

"None of your business."

"Yes it is."

"No it's not, now get out of my house, or likely Percy and I will throw you off Olympus."

He still looked angry, but left, probably to tell on her to Zeus. Annabeth left after a few seconds, still looking angry; good, she deserves it.

"Well," I said casually, "that was interesting."

She took a deep breath; then tried apologizing _again_.

"Percy, I…"

I kissed her again, shorter this time, so we wouldn't get carried away.

"You really need to stop trying to apologize." I gave her a crooked grin.

"Fine, I won't apologize, but I really don't know what I was thinking."

"What; am I that bad a kisser?" I tried to look hurt, but I loved doing this, there was no way she was getting out of this now.

She looked horrified, "No, Percy, you're a great kisser, it's just…" She trailed off when she saw the satisfied smirk on my face. Her eyes narrowed, "Next time you do that; I'm going to have to punch you."

"Sure, just don't break your hand."

"I won't, though your ribs are no guarantee."

"Is trading threats the way you bond with all your boyfriends?"

"Don't push it." I chuckled and backed off.

The best thing about getting threatened by her, we skipped the awkward silence. "So how's this going to work, I really have no clue about relationships on Olympus, or anywhere else for that matter."

She chuckled, "There really isn't a procedure, and I wouldn't care if there was."

"I'm obviously starting to rub off on you." She punched me in the arm, how surprising, "You are _way_ too predictable, soon enough I'm going to be finishing your sentences."

"Not if you value your life."

Our verbal sparring was interrupted by an eagle flying into the kitchen. It transformed into Zeus, who then proceeded to explode.

"HOW DARE YOU TOUCH MY DAUGHTER!"

I should _not_ be enjoying this, but I am.

"YOU ARE NOT WORTHY TO SO MUCH AS LOOK AT HER, MUCH LESS KISS HER!"

How original; here come the threats.

"IF YOU COME NEAR HER AGAIN, I WILL THROW YOU INTO THE PITS OF TARTARUS WHERE YOU DESERVE TO BE!"

Okay, he got his steam off, now it was Artemis' turn.

She was silent for approximately 10 seconds; then she began talking in a deadly quiet voice, which was somehow much scarier than Zeus' yell.

"Father, _I _kissed him, and would appreciate it if you did not threaten the boy I am in love with."

Yikes, that was quick, after thousands of years, I expected her to be a lot slower in this.

Zeus was quiet for time, and seemed to calm down, "Are you truly in love with him?"

"Yes."

"Then I will give you my blessing," he turned to me, and I could sense a 'but' coming, "however, if you hurt my daughter, I will obliterate you."

"Thanks a lot; I'll try to remember that in case I'm ever crazy enough to hurt her. Personally, I'm much more scared of her than you."

His eyes got dark, then cleared as he realized that wasn't so much an insult to him as a compliment to Artemis. He surveyed me with new respect, "There may be hope for you yet."

"Thanks."

He flashed out with a loud clap of thunder, leaving soot on the carpet.

Artemis sighed, "I hate it when he does that, the stains are nearly impossible to get out."

"My dad was definitely right about him, god of theater is much more appropriate."

She laughed, "Perhaps it would be, but I fear if we gave him an excuse to be more dramatic, he would give himself a heart attack."

When we finally got done laughing, we had one of those 'moments' teenage girls always talk about. I leaned in to kiss her, and she hit me over the back of the head, hard.

"Hey, what the heck was that for?" I pouted at her, giving my best puppy dog face.

"Next time, back me up a little."

"You were doing fine on your own, and he's actually afraid of you, with me he isn't, and he won't accept that he should be. An argument he got into with me would end with him being seriously damaged by the fall from Olympus."

"You wouldn't do that."

"What makes you think so?"

"He is related to me, and you wouldn't take the chance it would hurt me."

We had ended this conversation on the couch, and she had curled up next to me with her face buried in my shoulder. We were both smiling widely.

There was a cough from the doorway leading to the bedrooms.

Nico and Thalia were standing there, trying to control their laughter.

"So," they grinned at us, "what'd we miss?"

**So, there we go, give me some ideas, okay. I wrote this in less than five minutes, so cut me some slack.**


	9. Gotta Love The Closet Magic

Chapter ΙΧ

Gotta Love The Closet Magic

**Disclaimer: If you don't know by now, I won't tell you.**

** Thank you for your reviews, my total is twenty five, doubling that would be awesome, and seriously, give me ideas. If y'all give me a good idea, I'll use it.**

**How Do You Like Me Now**

**Toby Keith**

**I was always the crazy one  
>I broke into the stadium<br>And I wrote your number on the 50 yard line  
>You were always the perfect one<br>And the valedictorian so  
>Under your number I wrote "call for a good time"<strong>

**I only wanted to catch your attention  
>But you overlooked me somehow<br>Besides you had too many boyfriends to mention  
>And I played my guitar too loud.<strong>

**How do you like me now?  
>How do you like me now,<br>Now that I'm on my way?  
>Do you still think I'm crazy<br>Standin' here today?  
>I couldn't make you love me<br>But I always dreamed about living in your radio  
>How do you like me now?<strong>

**When I took off to Tennessee  
>I heard that you made fun of me<br>Never imagined I'd make it this far  
>Then you married into money girl<br>Ain't it a cruel and funny world?  
>He took your dreams and tore them apart.<strong>

**He never comes home  
>And you're always alone<br>And your kids hear you cryin' down the hall  
>Alarm clock starts ringin'<br>Who could that be singin'  
>Its me baby, with your wakeup call!<strong>

**How do you like me now?  
>How do you like me now,<br>Now that I'm on my way?  
>Do you still think I'm crazy<br>Standin' here today?  
>I couldn't make you love me<br>But I always dreamed about living in your radio  
>How do you like me now?<strong>

**Tell me baby...  
>I will preach on... <strong>

It took a good few minutes to tell the story to Thalia and Nico, but they smirked at me the whole time.

By the time we were done, I was really annoyed, "Why are you two smirking like that, it's driving me insane."

"Nothing," Thalia answered, "we were just both wondering when you two would figure it out."

Oh, that explained a lot, "So that's what the look you two were giving us all day yesterday meant."

"Yep, and anyone less of a dunderhead than you would've realized that."

"Why, thank you."

Artemis chuckled at the old joke, something Grover had said years ago. I gave her a let's-get-them-back look, she caught it.

"If we're so thick headed, what does that make you two? At least we had only met each other once or twice; you two have been around each other for weeks at a time and still haven't realized it." Wow, she's almost evil about it; I might've been worried if it wasn't so attractive.

They both blushed and determinedly looked in any direction but at each other.

"I don't know what you're talking about." They said together.

Artemis and I chuckled at them, the hypocrites. We gave each other another one of those 'looks', which I finally understand how people read each other's minds with. It was just because we knew each other well. I reached out and smacked Nico over the head at the exact moment she hit Thalia's head.

"Hey!" They both said indignantly.

"You two are idiots." I said.

"So don't say anything to us about it." Artemis said, grinning.

They both looked a _little _(murderously) angry, Artemis and I just stood there, grinning. Then I had what is possibly the most incredible idea for hopeless cases of two lovesick teenagers. I winked at Artemis to get her attention; then motioned towards the hall. She got it, I grabbed Nico by an arm; she grabbed Thalia by an arm. We steered them towards a closet whose door magically burst open as we approached. We pushed them in, overriding their protests; then locked the door.

"How long should we leave them there?" I asked casually.

"At least ten minutes." She answered back, a wicked gleam in her eye.

"I bet we hear them making out in five." She chuckled.

"I don't think we'll be able to hear them."

It took my brain a few seconds to catch up to the implication, and by then, she had attacked me. We ended up on the couch before I could really think about anything, most of the ten minutes (and maybe a little longer, but she's gorgeous, sue me) we spent making out. When we finally became mildly aware of our surroundings, my shirt was off, her hair looked like it might be permanently knotted, and we were both thoroughly intertwined.

After we got untangled, we opened the closet door to find Nico and Thalia kissing each other and nearly as intertwined as we had been. I sniggered and they broke apart, their faces flushed.

"Enjoy yourselves?" Artemis teased.

"Shut up." They both said at once, barely looking at each other.

"You two owe us." I said.

"How about I don't summon skeletons with flamethrowers to torch you both, and we call it even." Nico said.

"Fair enough."

"I figured it would be."

"Hey, at least we bothered telling you two straight out, you just let us work through it ourselves."

"You didn't need help," Thalia answered, "and besides that, Artemis might have tried to murder me if I was wrong."

"I might have anyway." Artemis answered, her eyes glinting in a dangerously attractive way.

There was a little bit of silence, then I said, "Hey, Artemis, want to meet my mom?"

She bit the inside of her cheek (which was making her look even more adorable), and said, "What if she doesn't like me?"

"She will."

"You can't know that."

"How much you want to bet?"

"Hey," Nico said, "I've got a genius idea, how about you two just go and find out instead of standing here arguing like idiots?"

"Fine," I said, "I suppose you two need some more _alone time_."

Nico just pushed me out the door.

"Fine, we're going, lay off before one of us incinerates you." Artemis practically growled at them.

We walked to the entrance with our hands intertwined, but before we got there, Hermes ran towards us with a box.

"Percy," he said, "you need to sign for this."

"What is it?" I asked as I signed with George and Martha.

_Typical,_ Martha rasped, _always 'George and Martha', never 'Martha and George'._

I chuckled, "Sorry Martha."

_You're forgiven._ She said.

George turned to look at me with beady eyes, _Where's my rat?_

Hermes rolled his eyes, "Enough with the rats George! You don't even like rats that much, you only eat the tails."

_Yes, but the tails are delicious._

"Just shut up."

_Can do._

"Doesn't seem like it."

I took the package from Hermes, and he disappeared. I pulled out a hunting knife and slit the tape on top, there was no return address. I opened the box and pulled out another box, this one brightly colored. I unlatched this one and out popped, a clown, I'm not talking a circus clown, I'm talking freaky make up, pointed teeth, and a grin that made Luke look good. There was a note attached, which said…

_The hero of Olympus, what a joke._

_If you're so 'heroic', come face us._

_We are the faceless terrors of the night,_

_The ones who would scare you as a child into hiding under the covers._

_We are _Night-Mares_._

_You can find us in the woods around Camp Jupiter,_

_We'll be waiting,_

_And entertaining your friend Grover._

We were both silent, "Where is Camp Jupiter?" I asked Artemis.

"West coast, it's where the children of the gods Roman personifications go for training."

I nodded; Chaos had mentioned the whole Greek and Roman personality's thing.

"We'll need to go there, but first we have a more dangerous mission to undertake."

"What?"

"You have to meet the parents."

**Okay, there we go; I got another up within 48 hours. I expect reviews, and please give me some stinking ideas.**


	10. I Make Friends with a Superstar

Chapter Χ

I Make Friends with a Superstar

**Disclaimer: I'm just putting an * from now on, cause it's driving me insane.**

** Happy birthday, whose birthday you ask? Someone's, if it's yours, here's my present. '**_**Internet Flat Screen'**_**, there you go. For those who didn't notice, I changed the name, due to a review. The name will make sense soon, right now it's just confusing.**

**Rain is a Good Thing**

**Luke Bryan**

**My daddy spent his life lookin' up at the sky  
>He'd cuss, kick the dust, sayin' son it's way too dry<br>It clouds up in the city, the weather man complains  
>But where I come from, rain is a good thing<strong>

**Rain makes corn, corn makes whiskey  
>Whiskey makes my baby feel a little frisky<br>Back roads are boggin' up, my buddies pile up in my truck  
>We hunt our honeys down, we take 'em into town<br>Start washin' all our worries down the drain  
>Rain is a good thing<strong>

**Ain't nothin' like a kiss out back in the barn  
>Wringin' out our soakin' clothes, ridin' out a thunderstorm<br>When tin roof gets to talkin'; that's the best love we made  
>Yea where I come from, rain is a good thing<strong>

**Rain makes corn, corn makes whiskey  
>Whiskey makes my baby feel a little frisky<br>Back roads are boggin' up, my buddies pile up in my truck  
>We hunt our honeys down, we take 'em into town<br>Start washin' all our worries down the drain  
>Rain is a good thing<strong>

**Farmer Johnson does a little dance  
>Creeks on the rise, roll up your pants<br>Country girls, they wanna cuddle  
>Kids out playin' in a big mud puddle<strong>

**Rain makes corn, corn makes whiskey  
>Whiskey makes my baby feel a little frisky<br>Back roads are boggin' up, my buddies pile up in my truck  
>We hunt our honeys down, we take 'em into town<br>Start washin' all our worries down the drain  
>Rain is a good thing<br>**

We got through the rest of Olympus and the trip from The Empire State Building to my mom's apartment without any other threats. We managed to talk normally the whole way there; another part of Chaos's training, I finally stopped stressing about things that can wait. Don't get me wrong, I'm worried about Grover, but the Night-Mares sent me that note, they'll wait for me.

When we got to my mom's apartment, I unlocked the door with the spare key hidden in a hole in the wall. That hole was the result of a little, uh, _accident_ I had with a javelin (I swear, you'd think I'd been cursed by the god of javelins as well). I walked approximately three feet inside the doorway before being smothered by my mom, which was her usual method of greeting.

"Percy," she exclaimed, grinning, "what happened this time, where did you go, tell me everything." She said all this without breathing in. "And who's this?" she asked, spotting Artemis.

"Mom," I said, like I always did when I came home, "calm down, breathe; let's go into the living room."

She nodded; we walked into the living room, which she had completely emptied of all breakable-by-javelin material. To my surprise, Paul was there, watching some background show about Tim McGraw on GAC.

"Paul," I said happily, "what are you doing here?"

"Hey Percy," he said, smiling, "me and Sally were just about to head out, we've got some Christmas shopping to do, apparently for more than just you." He was looking at Artemis.

Answering before he could ask the inevitable question, I said, "Mom, Paul, this is Artemis, my…" I gave her a questioning look.

"…girlfriend, more or less." She finished, flashing them a charming smile.

Paul accepted it without question, but my mom was used to this world, so she caught the possibility, "Artemis, like the goddess of the moon?" She asked suspiciously.

"Very much like that, yes."

"Oh." My mom didn't really seem surprised; I think she was expecting it somehow. Paul started getting a bit confused though.

"You aren't really…" he trailed off.

"Yes, sir, I am."

"Please, don't call me 'sir', if anything, I should be calling you 'ma'am'."

"Don't, it drives me insane."

"Good, it's awkward." Artemis chuckled, I could tell she liked them, and they her (which was pretty much impossible not to).

"So," my mom said, "what happened with Annabeth?"

I knew she would bring that up, "She left me for Apollo, god of the sun, healing, and really bad haikus."

Everyone laughed, which was my intention, to avoid going into detail.

So we covered all that had happened while we were gone, from the hellhound to the note I got.

Afterwards they both urged me to get going. "It doesn't seem reasonable for you to be waiting around with us while Grover's in danger."

I knew if I argued they would just push me out the window and assume I would be okay. So I just went ahead and walked out with Artemis. She held me back before we got in the elevator.

"Percy, there's a meeting on Olympus, I'm needed, you'll have to go to San Francisco by yourself. I talked to my father, he agreed you can fly there, the plane's already arranged. Here's the ticket." She handed me a plane ticket, it left at six; it was first class.

"You didn't have to do that, I can find my way easily enough."

"It wasn't any trouble, when you're a god you can arrange this kind of stuff pretty easily."

"Fair point." I was actually really grateful, and arguing about the fact she was too nice to me really didn't have a point. I kissed her goodbye and she flashed out. I caught a cab and headed to the airport.

Once I was at the airport, I had the usual rush of the security line and odd looks as I insisted on keeping my pen and that I didn't have any bags but one which was full of normal supplies for me. I told them the nectar was apple juice and the ambrosia was brownies, snacks for the road.

When I got on the plane, I immediately moved to my seat, I got the window seat, so I could enjoy my first flight in a plane where I wasn't likely to be blasted out of the sky. I dozed for the half-hour until take-off; the person sitting next to me didn't arrive until we were five minutes from the time the gates closed. He arrived with a small band of paparazzi, and sat down next to me as if it was perfectly normal.

I stared, "You're kidding me, right?"

He laughed, "Nope, I always do this; otherwise there would be more of them." He waved his hands toward the paparazzi.

"But, dude, you're Tim McGraw."

"Good to know, I thought I might have been Reba there for a second, I was worried."

I laughed, and not because he was famous, but because he was funny. I had this image in my head of stars not being able to crack jokes, it was good to know at least one country superstar had a sense of humor.

"At least you aren't fainting, that's what happened last time."

"Poor girl."

"It was a guy."

"You sure about that?"

He grinned at me, "Nice, I was starting to think no one would ever crack jokes around me again."

"I've been around famous people before." No need to mention they were gods.

"Really, who?"

"You wouldn't believe me." He accepted that.

"So what's your name, kid?"

"Percy Jackson."

I had a pretty awesome flight to say the least, we talked, joked, gave each other ideas for practical jokes (one of his friends put frozen eels in someone's bed; I had to remember that one). It was a great time, and the paparazzi really weren't all that bad, some of them contributed an idea every now and then.

When the plane landed at San Francisco International, we both got off side by side on one of the stairways, to a large band of people, mostly people anyway. But these guys didn't want autographs, they were out for blood.

We had flown right into an ambush of Scythian Dracaena.

They howled and jumped at me; I shoved Tim out of the way and pulled out Riptide. I slashed through a good half-dozen of them. There were another twenty left, I slashed and hacked through the remainder. When I was done, I walked calmly back over to Tim.

"I don't know what the hell happened there, but I owe you one. Anytime you need a favor, call me." He wrote down a number with his autograph pen (which he had told me doubled as an extremely powerful laser light, for overenthusiastic fans).

"Thanks, man, I'll see you around."

"I hope so."

**So, there we go, Percy made friends with Tim McGraw, how awesome is that. Review, I'll get up a new chapter soon.**


	11. My Worst NightMare

Chapter ΧΙ

My Worst Night-Mare

***On to eleven, hopefully we'll have some surprises today. I apologize for the long wait; I did not mean to wait this long, but my finals kept me busy until Christmas break, and that was spent in Arizona.**

**Settle for a Slowdown**

**Dierks Bently**

**I must look just like a fool here  
>in the middle of the road<br>standing there in your rearview  
>and getting soaked to the bone<br>this land is flat as it is mean  
>a man can see for a hundred miles<br>so I'm still praying I might see  
>the glow of a brake light.<strong>

**But your wheels just turn,  
>down the road ahead<br>If it hurts at all  
>you ain't showed it yet<br>I keep a lookin' for  
>the slightest sign that you might miss<br>what you left behind  
>I know there's nothing stopping you now<br>but I'd settle for a slowdown.**

**I held on longer then I should  
>Leaving you might change your mind<br>those bright lights of Hollywood  
>would fade in time.<strong>

**But your wheels just turn  
>down the road ahead<br>If it hurts at all  
>you ain't showed it yet<br>I keep a lookin' for  
>the slightest sign<br>that you might miss  
>what you left behind<br>I know there's nothing stopping you now  
>but I'd settle for a slowdown.<strong>

**But your wheels just turn  
>down the road ahead<br>if it hurts at all  
>you ain't showed it yet<br>your just a tiny dot on that horizon line come on tap those brakes  
>baby just one time<br>I know there's nothing stopping you now  
>I'm not asking you to turn back around<strong>

**I'd settle for a slowdown  
>Come on just slow down<br>I'd settle for a slowdown.**

So I got away from the airport, met up with Artemis, and headed out to search. I decided not to tell her about Tim, just in case I can ever bribe her with an autograph or something.

We didn't exactly have to search long, once we got to the coast, a dark trail of mist, faint but distinct, led off to the north. We followed it until it turned off to the east, then hit a lake with several islands in the middle. Artemis called it Stow Lake, we continued on until we came to the island in the north-east part of the lake. The mist led to the island, straight over water, I was wondering what they would do if a non-son-of-Poseidon came, when I noticed a shadow beneath the water. I stepped out, and realized there was only a few inches of water below a narrow path. We walked out to the island warily, when we reached it, we leaped up into the small grove of beech trees in the middle of the island. We snuck through the trees without making a sound, until we came to a meadow. In the meadow was Grover, sleeping, of course, and moaning about food.

I hopped down and hit him in the head, he woke up.

"Where's the cheese?" He yelled; I looked at him quizzically. He blushed, "Nothing, forget it."

"We came to get you out of here."

"We?"

Artemis leaped down, Grover stood up, I was surprised to see he wasn't bound; he started bowing and scraping all over himself. Artemis smiled at him, seeming somewhat charmed by his… Groverness.

"Grover, calm down, breathe, I'm just a normal person, deference isn't necessary." She smiled at him, and I was rather proud Grover didn't start hyperventilating.

"What inspired you to come, Artemis?" Grover asked quizzically.

Artemis smiled again, "Well, you are Percy's best friend, and I rather enjoy being on good terms with him." Unless I've gone insane, that was said with no small amount of suggestiveness. Dang, I wish she didn't know how to tug my strings like that, but I'm not sure I would have it any other way.

Grover was, understandably, confused, "What do you mean by…" He trailed off as he saw my face, I hope I wasn't blushing, but I probably was, "Oh, that explains it." He grinned at me, "How on _earth_ did you manage that?"

"That?" Artemis questioned, her eyes narrowing in a manner reminiscent of several fanged monsters I've fought.

Before Grover could start trying to apologize and probably dig his grave deeper than it already was, I noticed something. Just a flicker at the corner of my vision, but it was enough; Chaos' training had heightened my ability to see from the peripheral. Several shreds of mist seemed to be shaking with laughter, which I knew was out of the ordinary.

"Grover," I hissed urgently, "what do you know about these night-mares, the creatures that kidnapped you."

"Oh, um, there's probably something I should explain about that…"

"No need, allow us." Several of the shreds of mist solidified into palominos, with bright eyes that seemed to glare like golden spotlights.

"Perseus Jackson, it is an honor to meet you." It was weird to hear a horse talking out loud, instead of in my head.

"What are you?"

They gave a horse approximation of a grin, "Why, we're night-mares of course."

"You don't look like it."

They gave each other nods; then changed back into dark mist, only to reform again as clowns, with razor sharp teeth and knives.

Ugh, what up with them and clowns?

They quickly formed back into horses, "Still unconvinced?" Asked the lead horse smugly, he seemed to be the leader anyway; he was taller than the others.

I drew my sword, but the night-mares seemed unaffected by it, "Put that away, Perseus, we have no intention of fighting you."

"Then why did you kidnap my friend, and send me that letter?"

"Oh, the letter," he almost seemed embarrassed, "um, that was Nick; he seems to enjoy doing that to people." He glared over at someone at the back of the pack, who bowed his head.

"Percy," Grover interrupted, "that's what I'm trying to tell you, they didn't kidnap me, I came to them."

Officially confused now, "What are you people talking about?"

"We aren't evil, Perseus," said the leader, "we needed to talk to you, but can't leave this island without some sort of cover."

"Why?" I asked quizzically.

"We feared the retaliation of Erebus, Lord of the Night."

I groaned, "Another ancient god, come to destroy us all, right?"

They looked unsurprised, "Naturally, he was taking little note of this world until Kronos summoned him. We believe he was lost in Tartarus for a time, but the energy from Kronos rising got his attention. All the primordial gods intend to make war, even those who all believed lost."

I sighed, never any peace for a hero, "So, how do we stop them."

He hesitated, "His powers must be bound by Gaia, if you are to have a chance, but she won't consent. The only way to obtain her powers of binding is by the Flames of Olympus. They are a direct conduit into her powers, and are located all over the world, in groups of three. There are 42 total, 14 groups, all must be activated by a god, and children of each of the big 3."

Me, Thalia, Nico, and Artemis, this might not be so bad.

"But the primordial gods are searching for these as well, whoever controls the majority once they are all lit will gain control of the others. They are both trying to prevent you from getting them, and attempting to gain their power for themselves."

Ah, there's the kicker. "What power exactly?"

He stared intently, "The power to control the gods of the east, and their monsters as well."

**You did **_**not**_** guess that, if you did, you're physic and I hate you. Again, updates coming faster soon, apologize for the wait, don't eat bad star fruit, and don't hug rabid raccoons. You all rock, oh and by the by, I'm going to start making longer chapters.**


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